My 2012 resolution

I think I just giving myself an excuse not to join the crowd in some recent happening club. It might seen dumb since I have all the reasons to be there but somehow I just gave a stupid reason by stuck at work. Well it's true that I did as the call caught me from 3pm to almost 10pm. Somehow you know, clubbing starts only midnight.

Anyway, i prefer to stay home today, accompany my mom and despite of my complaints, I drove her out to witness the new year with flashy fireworks. I dont know why but i begin to treasure time like this. Perhaps age is catching up, or perhaps i know something ahead might draw more of my personal time. or perhaps...

I dont know what is waiting ahead but all i want is the happiness and health within us. The rest, i dont care.

iPad2

I am a man who hold on to his word. As I have mentioned in my previous log, I will get an iPad if I got the role. Well here I am, which I am truly grateful with the fruitful result and hence, I think it's time I get one.

I have tried, where I researched the best deal in 1U Mac City but resulted in big disappointment to the fraud, and more importantly the stupid attitude of the sales team for not worrying about their sales, which I agree it's true the stock sold out by weekly. Anyhow, I think I will break the promise very soon of saying not going back for the purchase. Cause after all the hard work trying to search other good deals in MAchines but it led me back to the initial point.

Damn it.. wait for my good news...

cinaman company

Little to I know (in fact i know it very well and i am counting it every single minutes), its another 10 days left before my 20 days deep freeze period. It just came so sudden (although i am quite well aware) for this new opportunity (well, basically i made the first move) and it totally caught me off guard when they told me about the description (gosh i knew it very well already, im telling you that..).

However I am still not ready (hell no...) to take the challenge and I am still considering (which i couldnt wait to tender before i even know i get it!) the position. Anyhow, I am glad and yet worry about what's ahead of me (jokes of the decade if you know me..) and i seriously wish that i will join the dream company with dream package (continue dream on.. especially after seeing the pathetic offer letter...). I wish myself a best year ahead and all the best to myself (another hell...)

Apocalypse

I still have no idea what is the meaning of this word - apocalypse? Well I think it doesnt matter when the ending eventually lead us to the same destination - end. The only matter is how you have ended, and who you will ended with. For my case I guess I will be alone..

Nevertheless 2012 is a difficult path ahead, regardless of the jobs, life or the Maya prophecy. Good thing is, I am looking forward to it while everybody is looking back with what they've done wrong. So 2011.. Come on people, instead of staying behind grieving all those jokes, why not just live everyday the fullest since we have exactly 11 months and 20 days left on earth?

No I dont believe about the prediction but somehow i just couldnt stop myself repeating the song into the west now... Happy 2012.

Work

I guess i just dont have anything to update about myself. So i just stick back to what i do best - work. Work is my life, work is my master, work pays my bill, work drags me to hell, work gives me health problem , work distant me from friend and family, and i think work will kill me one day.

Give you a simple scenario. I arrived at mid valley at 7.45pm for a dinner appointment with friend at 8pm and I received a call from office told that the system down. For the rest of 2.5 hour i basically attending the while walking behind my friend, and dining together as if she is eating alone. The best is that was Friday. What a joke.

Oh yeah did i tell you it is getting worse these days? cause the conf usually starting by 6PM+ and ended 11PM+..

lappad?

Im back to the question for lappy or pad. All these started back when the evil cp show off her flashy pad! It is a total different experience playing the pad in store and holding one to your hand flipping through at the cafe. It just made me so outdated for still holding a dinosaur company laptop.

I made my promise now, if I able to hopped out from this company, I will go for pad since i basically never a lappy owner. But again, acer just launched their latest ultrabook S3 which competitive enough with mac book air. It really makes me at the cross road but who cares, pray me will get out from this company first then we talk!

33

I have less than 5 smses for my birthday greeting on that day, and 2 wrote them on FB which i am certain they are genuine but starting from the third, they just followed.

It was a pitiful event but what can i ask for more? Luckily still I have free dinner from cp (thanks!), free cake and dinner from my family (grateful for that), 3 BGT as worth at USD15 from YYF (domo!), a free lunch on the following day by my colleague (ok cause i force her to..) and 2 surprise pieces of cakes from sender (sweet). After all it is not too bad. At least in this world there is still friend and family who love me as much as i love them. Thanks!

Happy birthday to me and I think have to stop counting my age d..

Apparently..

It seems decades since I have put down a few words here. I literally have forgotten the feeling of blog writing. In fact it is not so long but the job i am working at makes me feel aging fast. This job is not only killing me from the inside but also distant me from my life as a friend, family, or human.

I basically dont see the path if i continue the role. The thought of give up basically surfacing every morning noon evening and night. This is not ranting but as reminded by cp i feel like one of the tragic encounter in hp where the employee expressed her stress and eventually passed out few days later with her company laptop on.

I am afraid and avoiding but unfortunately cant stop thinking that I will follow her footstep one day as days gone by. Hw pls save me...

训

Yeah finally company is sending me to the training - ITIL practitioner. I have sat for the foundation and now this is more of an intermediate level which is way more difficult, at least, i need to really understand the course material and unlike the foundation just follow the answer given in the mock questions and score 95%.

For those of you who dont know ITIL, it is basically a framework where most service company is adopting and practicing. It is indeed very popular and so call proven to sustain the business (well quite true or otherwise all the companies i worked with had already bankrupt or I kena phase out).

So back to the topic, it is difficult, people actually did fail the exam and paying 800 to resit the paper. Damn it is horrifying when it comes to monies.. i think i better start reading now..

假

It can be holiday, it can be fake. What if we relate these two together? It is equivalent to fake holiday, aka MC, in which i often using it after i picked up this role. Most of them were genuine, but part of it of course is not quite true. Simple, cause i think i had enough of work and needed some rest, or better still some other job that can give me a reason not to take fake holiday.

Last week i just had a 4 days consecutive off days including my AL and holidays we have in boleh land. Somehow it is not enough, i was so tempted to take MC on Friday but knowing i will be away for training for one full week, it is better i go back to office and fake it.

Suddenly thought of the happy time in japan again. Damn i guess its time to plan another trip back there...

戏

Wedding is just like a show, repeating all the steps where other married couple had performed. If you dont follow the same and you will consider minority and end up left out from the society or being topic that discussed by those hack during dinners.

Somehow, either you do it or not, i believe the result is still the same. My beloved brother just finished his grand wedding. No special surprises but i am happy that he finally tide the knot and enter another phase of life. Afterall this is life, you just have to follow what ever people tell you to do or otherwise, you are abnormal.

Well anyhow, the wedding is over, everyone in the dinner was happy and we are exhausted from day 1 of the preparation, mentally. Now my only wish to him is to stay happy, healthy, wealthy, ever after with many kids and grand kids.

吵

Wanted to use the 烦 as subject to these few occasions but somehow decided to change it given that the root cause (and result) is still due to 吵.

Well it's not one incident but several that accumulated this log. Human are not naturally born happy, optimistic, positive and harmony. Each and every one of us is trying to self-destruct or destroy other so one can hurt deep including self. I do understand that feeling as I am one of the unfortunate one that trapped in this form but somehow, I dont know why i always ended up in the role that accelerate the two extreme party trying to accommodate and eventually made myself exhausted and hateful.

despite the fact i know it is impossible but i am still hoping this stupidity can stop earlier than i estimated. meanwhile, another few incidents still pending i to solve. when can i stop doing that?

Actos

It is heart aching seeing so many people dying or suffering from the diseases such as heart attacks and cancers. Do you know some can actually be avoided if we consult the right channel with the intake of correct medication? I have seen many patients recovered from these deadly disease (likewise a lot of unsuccessful cases also) by taking the medication off the shelves. Honestly this imposed a serious risk as you will never know what is the side effect of it. For example, Actos is an oral diabetes medicine that can lead to serious injuries such as heart attacks, heart failure, and an increased risk of bladder cancer.

If you happened to come across these symptoms (touch wood), you may perhaps to search on Actos lawsuit to consult for a fair treatment.

闲

它一个很邪门的物体，就如一只生物，恍惚洞悉我们正在想些什么的。它往往出其不意的向我们出击，有时甚至希望我们死无葬身之地。最过分的一次是当大家都已披上披甲准备把它手到擒来的时候，它竟然大摇大摆的在我们面前发难而我们却搏手无策。一班专业人士竟然连一个系统迟缓的问题都解决不到，让它在全世界的触目下欣然活生生的来去，羞家至极。

回说今天，当其他所有的系统都暴了黑色风暴，它却安安静静的安分守己。实在啼笑皆非却令人发指。其中原因固然不明，但是我不排除大部分的问题是源自于某些鸡白人。很明显的它是继承了一些有精神病的人所以都疯疯癫癫的。不止如此，牵连在内的我也变得痴痴碍碍了，所以连编故事也开始语无伦次的。该回家了吧。。。

梦

Finally, the dreams that I have long awaited for has finally been materialized. It was almost perfect, just as what I have pictured it. Despite of the mandatory planning on the accommodation and travel spot, I did experience the trip that I always wanted – backpack ranger.

I was perished to Japan for 12 days, mainly to the north (which in my impression now it is still the most beautiful places on earth). Practically I didn’t comb my hair for the entire trip. Not to mentioned I didn’t take bath a couple of times due to the overnight train and bus which didn’t provide the facility to wash up. Somehow, I freaking enjoy the feeling of being perished and life like this. At least, it’s freedom, away from necessary or unnecessary troubles, to a place where no one knows me, do whatever I like without second thought, just like living in the dream..

Of course, I don’t think this dream can be realized without complimenting Japan. It could be totally different story if this happen in another country. Having said that, yes I will definitely make this a routine trip back to Japan. haha..

闷

今天的我不想工作。明明是假期但是他妈的蓝绿子公司遍遍硬要把我们基本的福利也要拿掉。真的操他x的。。

我想我真的不适合这份工作，每天上班都打瞌睡，排山倒海的email又假装看不到。别说朋友，连一个可以的谈多一点的同事都没有，大笑风生更是甭说。每天剩下的只有嬉皮笑脸的对着一班老狐狸，明明不想却每天共聚午餐谈着一些上了年纪的话题。唉，不知道这样的日子还要继续挨多久。假装的面具都已经快变成我的样子了。再这样下去的话我也不敢想象自己会变成舍了。。。唉。。该走了吧。。?

惜

不知不觉婆婆已经走了两个月。虽然如此但是总觉得依然微微的感觉到她的存在。可能这就是思念吧。。又或者是大家都还未真正的接受她的离去，妈妈和阿姨们的心情更能体会到。例牌的周末每当提起婆婆的时候双双眼睛都淌着泪感叹为何不多点探望与珍惜在生的时候。也是的，毕竟她们的妈妈陪伴了她们大半生甚至晚年。试问今天的我们还有多少个例子能有这种机会？人走了留下的只有回忆。亲人走了留下的更是添加唏嘘。更何况是一位对我们来说德高望重代表我们家族的婆婆？再说没用，第一代的时代已闭幕。剩下可以做的就是珍惜第二代。人生，现在才开始。

6.15

Wanted to post a few words for this but my mood was swinging, mainly on the down side. This date, she began her new journey and reunited with her family, especially her mother, father and husband. We should be happy for her but at the same time our heart broken because of her departure.

She had been with us all her lifetime. Seeing us grow, witnesses sweet and sour, accompany her children entering senior age and to a few, she walked them the entire lifetime. She was there since I ever learn how to recognize a person. And she was the only one who remembered all of our names. She was simply that amazing.

People said time will heal, but I rather hope time will bring us closer, and hoping one day we will reunite as what the old tales said. If there is even a tiny chance of reincarnation, I am more than willing to become her grandson over and over again, regardless of what awaits me ahead..

Spending

This year I spent A LOT. This month even more ever since I moved in. First is the water leaking, second is installation of awning, third is the wardrobe and desks, later comes bed frame and the best is, my car died on me. The notorious gear box failure. It's not that bad and still in early stage, which i feel lucky to detect it and managed to sold it before the condition gets worsen. And of course, the sinful 18 levels of JPJ approvals which will be implemented on 15 June.

Despite of my feeling to the car , I have no choice but to let go. :( (althought all i treated it is just a transport anyway..) Now im waiting for my shiro to arrive. It is not something grand but rather downgrading myself like adopting from a german shepard to street dogs. But who cares? It is new, it is cool, it is cheap and it is worthy. A I mentioned, I treat it as a transport to commute in the city...

His name is Abdy.S

It’s not the job, it’s the people who is having and giving the pbm.

In fact the job also contribute to the factor, it’s really 24/7. I always kena call now. Imagine the call can last from morning til mid nite. I even experienced a call continue until 2.30am. It's effing exhausted. Just yesterday, there was a simulation started at 12am. Happy me.

Well the main problem here still this group biz user is too demanding. A simple error in the system also need conference bridge. Not to mentioned this system only in pilot mode but then still they requested for high sev. Really cannot tahan them. The best is this team is led by an asshole and he turned out to be the so call programme director..

Don’t know why all the heads also scare of him, including my boss. I feel humiliated cause there was a case last Saturday, in short not my fault but this fella called my personal phone at 7pm weekend and EFF me up and down with all the vulgar words. I argued with him over the call and also complaint to my boss on the next day. But from my conversation to my boss, I feel like I was hired to be humiliated. I don’t buy in and thats why I am very keen in looking for job. Reason being I don’t feel support from the team, from the boss, from the stakeholder at all. No point staying here anymore!